Invisible

“I’ve finally got you here and in a dress.”
The love of my life said as I looked into his beautiful eyes. “Well take it all in cause this is the last time…” I said trailing off as some of his ROTC friends joined us at our table.
“Serina,” He said to me, “This is Summer and her date Ryan.”
“Hello” I said with no implication in my voice. Summer’s hair was what her name made you think, the golden color of a wheat field during a summer sunset with deep brown eyes that made you wonder if she was really blonde with a tiny fit body to match the looks. Something about Summer sent flags off in my head even though, from what Ben had told me previously, she sounds like a person I’d be friends with if I had met her for different reasons.

The man leading the conference climb on the platform and gave his speech. I wasn’t listening. I’d zoned off long before. Everyone was clapping so I joined in. “Ben” I said touching his arm lightly, “I need to use the bathroom.”
“Alright sweetheart.” He said as he leaned over and kissed my lips gently. He stood up and offered me his arm, being a perfect gentleman. I took it and followed him as he led me away. “I really hate dresses” I muttered to just Ben. He smiled at me and said “I don’t see why, you look gorgeous.” I rolled my eyes as I entered the bathroom.

I went to the sink and stared into the mirror. Looking at myself. My long red gold hair was spiraling around my neck where prism cut crystals wrapped around my throat. My lime green strapless dress clung to my waist, making me appear far slimmer than I really am, trailing over my hips and down to a small train.  I sighed and walked back out. I seen Ben standing a few steps off so I walked into his arms and hugged him like he was the last person alive on earth, needing his comfort.

We walk back to our table and take our seats. I ate my dinner in silence. Listening to the conversation. Noting my surroundings. The way Summer looks at Ben and how Ryan does everything to keep her attention. How Ben’s eyes sparkle at me when I smile at him. He leans forward and kisses me. In front of everyone. I blush and look down making him smile in return.

The conference leader goes back up to talk. Something about having some of the youth board members dance or something. Ben smiles at me as I take his hand and he guides me around the dance floor. My heel clad feet following him and praying that I don’t happen to have a clutsy moment. Our eyes meet and we smile. We don’t need to talk to show our love. You can see it. The song ends and we take a seat. Ryan and Summer are still walking back. Ben leans over and says “I love you so much babe” and kisses me so deeply I am breathless and blushing.

A new song starts playing. Summer gets back to the table and smiles.
“Ben” she says in a far too husky voice as she lets her golden hair fall across her shoulders. “How about you and I have a dance? Since we are members and all…” she trails off and looks at me like I’m an outsider for not being military. Ben looks at me and smiles while saying yes. Not giving her much attention. He picks up my hand, kisses it quickly and says, “I shall return my love.” And with one last smile at me takes Summer’s hand and leads her onto the dance floor.

I watch them dancing. I watch Summer’s light pink dress shimmer next to Ben, the lime green accents matched with black tux harsh against the soft pink. I see her hold her frame perfect, keeping her shoulders back and pressing her lower body closer to Ben, giving him the perfect opportunity to see down her sweetheart neckline. How Summer keeps trying to press herself close to Ben, how Ben artfully steps away, just out of reach. “I know how she feels.” Ryan says catching my attention as he slides closer to me. “To look at someone like they are your whole world but knowing their eyes are on someone else… and… no matter what you do… no matter how hard you try you just can’t capture their attention.” My eyes meet Ryan’s. “Being invisible” he says.

I have no response. I am on the receiving end of the smile Ryan talks about, even longs for so I glance back at Ben and Summer dancing. His eyes are distant as he spins her around the floor, her following with a grace I could only wish to simulate, her perfect shape a nice complement to his toned muscles and defined figure, her flawless dress swirling out behind her. I smile when he meets my eyes, his smile lighting up his face as he spins Summer around, his back to me. I catch a glare from Summer. She knows that smile she longs to have was for me.

Her attention to me is short lived, her perfect face already upturned back to Ben, trying to reel him in with conversation. She presses herself close, leaning to whisper something in his ear. He smiles and leans away like he has not a care in the world. But I do. I never doubt Ben’s love for me but I dislike the attention Summer gives him. It sets off my jealousy. I know better, but he is still mine. I want her to know it.

I stand up and look over at Ryan smiling. “Why should they have all the fun?” Ryan looks into my eyes and takes my out stretched hand. I let him lead me onto the dance floor. A slow song is starting. Ben was starting to pull away when Summer tugs her back. I hear her mutter something about me have a new date and they should just take the next song. I feel Ben’s heated eyes on me. I smile. Ryan smiles back. We start dancing. I let Ryan and the music swirl me around just following were the beat takes me.

“She is not worth it.” I say to Ryan, “Don’t waste your time on someone who may not love you back. You’re better than that; there is someone out there better for you.” Ryan just looks at me with a sad expression. I drop it. I see Summer try to keep Ben’s attention as he glances at me and Ryan. It’s not long before Ben taps on Ryan’s shoulder cutting in. “That’s not very nice.” Ben says, as Ryan makes his way back to Summer, “Making me jealous and all that.” I grin up at him and see the love in his eyes as he gazes at me.

I smile as his warm hands close around mine and I see the pout that is clearly on Summer’s face. “I love you” we both breathe at the same time. My smile turns into a grin as I lean into Ben and he does not move away. I stand on my tip toes to reach his mouth and kiss him with all the feeling of love I can muster. And we dance. We move around the floor like there are no others with us.

The rest of the night flows by with no real events. Summer glances at us the whole night. I know she wishes Ben would give her a chance, that if he could just go out with her for a night and be her man he would forget all about his little fling with me. But that is where she is wrong. We have a love that will last. Summer tries to get Ben’s attention and get a hot little good-bye in as we go to leave but Ben waves and keeps walking before she can catch up. Ben and I lock arms and as we walk out the door Taylor Swift’s song, Invisible starts playing, like the song was meant for her, for that very moment. I know Summer is singing it about Ben tonight. If only she could hear the real song that is playing for Ben and I. I smile, knowing this one has nothing to do with being invisible.